“In Your Days”

oldendays

I’m walking through the park with my eight year old son. He’s asking lots of questions at the moment. The main thrust of all this is that he can’t believe how old how I am.

“Dad – in your days did you ride those funny bikes?”

“What do you mean by funny bikes?”

“Those ones with the big wheel at the front and the little wheel at the back.”

“Ah, Penny Farthings.”

“Yes!”

“Those are from the Victorian era.”

“When things were black and white.”

“Well, the photos were black and white. But I wasn’t brought up in the Victorian era. That was over 100 years ago. I was a kid in the 1960s and 1970s.”

“Oh. But it was black and white then, wasn’t it?”

“Not really, no.”

“So did you have a colour TV?”

“Er, no. It was black and white.”

He goes quiet and looks at me. He’s thinking… “My poor dad is so very very old.”

Being Boiled

(7 inch single)

Seven year old and three year old are in the room when this comes on. I’d forgotten how irresistible the opening few synthy seconds are before the rhythm starts up. Seven year old smiles and three year old waves his arms about. Then the crunchy drum machine cranks up and they both go crazy – seven year old wiggles and leaps about like an amphetamined frog with an itchy arse, while three year old keeps his feet rooted to the floor and bounces up and down in time to the beat.

“Kids, do you like this?”

“YES!” they both shout, then disappear into their own world of crackly industrial funk dancing.

Listen to the voice of Buddha.