Tag Archives: The Crap Gardener’s Calendar

Bi-Polar Weather Patterns

The weather is manic depressive at the moment – one day cold but sunny smiley and full of possibilities, the next storm grey with sheets of rain and howling wind. Now the wind direction has changed to South Easterly and has stayed that way. I’d almost prefer the freezing snow and slush we had a year or so ago to this.
The teenagers next door seem not to care about the cold and sit around in the afternoon at their patio table, smoking dope and listening to cacophonous dance music (is it grime? I’d ask my daughter but the exchange would be too embarrassing for her even with nobody else listening). My job this week is to cut back the ivy. At the moment it’s completely overgrown. The first stage is to stand in the kitchen and stare out a the ivy.

“What are you doing?” my wife says. “I thought you were gardening today.

“I am gardening. This is called ‘get to know your enemy’.”

The ivy knows its days are numbered.

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